“Some of them are purely online or chat-based, but it still disturbs the marriage. Some were discovered at an early stage so they weren’t able to escalate to a stage where they meet up and go to the next level of their liaison,” he said.
While some people in fulfilling relationships arital sex “for fun” and thrill, Mr Lim from Reach Counselling Service said that there is another group whose marriage is already in trouble
“I believe that since the affairs are app-based, people become emotionally distant to the activity and may not see it as cheating… they have found ways to psychologically downplay what they are doing.”
“For example, changes in phone usage patterns. Suddenly, there is a password to the phone, or there is another phone – all of these are signs,” Mr Chua added.
- Being on the phone during hours when they do not usually use their phones, such as waking up at 2am to text
- Appearing secretive with their phone, such as taking it to the bathroom, keeping it under the pillow and being wary of people touching their phone
- Smiling, giggling or laughing aloud when using the phone
- Acting distant or spaced out with spouse or family
- Changes in routines such as work hours and in dressing (for example, being more focused on grooming)
Ms Sophia Goh, principal counsellor and psychotherapist at Sofia Wellness Clinic, said that in general, anything that makes extramarital cheating more accessible will increase its frequency.